The hidden value of meaning
Finding meaning amongst horror
Prisoners in the Nazi concentration camps suffered unimaginable horrors. They were surrounded by death, endured brutal hard labour in the cold, were starved and sustained horrific brutality at the hands of their captors. On top of that their every freedom was taken away from them.
The Hume reservoir, Australia
Dr Viktor Frankl (1905-1997), himself a Holocaust survivor, observed those who survived and were able to survive and protect their sanity were those who focused on the one thing they had control over - their freedom to choose their response.
There were those who found humour, those who gave some of their measly rations to those in greater need. Those who seemed able better able to manage their response, in Dr Frankl’s observations, were those who maintained meaning in their lives. Meaning created resilience.
The research
Dr Frankl said,
“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”
As well as being a Holocaust survivor, he was a neurologist and psychiatrist who devoted his life to studying, understanding and promoting ‘meaning’.
His book, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ tells his story of surviving the Holocaust by finding personal meaning in the experience. That gave him the will to live through it. He established a new form of psychotherapy called logotherapy based on our underlying motivator in life being a ‘will to meaning’.
Dr Frankl also looked at the impact of not having meaning. We are less able to bear the challenges life presents or we are left with an empty feeling, a void in our lives. Research indicated there is a strong relationship between ‘meaninglessness’ and criminal behaviour, substance abuse and depression.
Without meaning, we can fill that void with hedonistic pleasures, materialism, negativity or neurotic obsessions. In the modern day we can also search out valueless time fillers like scrolling through social media and binge watching Netflix.
Chalk and cheese
Now clearly I have not suffered at a level remotely close to that endured by Holocaust survivors. However, through my expeditions I have experienced what it’s like dealing with suffering with and without the shield of meaning.
My Nile expedition had been two years in the making. It was my purpose, my focus and a goal I wanted to achieve above all else. It was challenging from the moment I committed to it, through to my last paddle stroke. There were endless obstacles to overcome getting to the start, continuing despite being viciously attacked by a hippo, being detained in Burundi, facing my greatest fears, kayaking thousands of kilometres and having problems to solve every day, multiple times a day.
Despite these challenges and the physical pain, dropping out never once crossed my mind. It was hard, but the suffering and challenge were buffered by the meaning I assigned to the expedition. I even relished many of the challenges I was presented with.
Roll on eight months from the end of my Nile expedition and I was paddling the Murray. Far less dangers, it was in my home country and it was only going to be two months. It had been easy to organise. Yes it was hard, but on the same level as the Nile. I found it mentally significantly more challenging and thought of dropping out multiple times. In the first couple of weeks on the water I tried to come up with excuses for pulling the pin that would allow me to save face.
My reasons for paddling the Murray didn’t carry the weight of those for the Nile. While I was eager to complete an expedition here in Australia, I was also doing it to put me on the map as an adventurer. In the hope of being taken more seriously and maybe be able to attract sponsorship and interest for future expeditions. It was part of my longer term goal to complete a source-to-sea paddling expedition on each continent. There was more of an extrinsic focus than intrinsic. Rookie error.
It was hard, but within the realms of what I am capable of. I reached the halfway point as in the video below.
Halfway, yay! But still 1,250km to go. I wanted to cry. I wouldn’t let myself. We always have the ability to choose our response. The best I could muster was grim acceptance. That helped. Then I started making myself focus on the positives – the freedom I was enjoying, the beauty around me, the wilderness camping and the kind and inspiring people I met. I reframed boredom as an opportunity to think, to listen to audiobooks and consider the direction I want my life to take. To see what popped up in the mental space.
Through it all I realised that the light-weight meaning I assigned to this expedition meant I didn’t have a buffer against the suffering. With armour you can take a hit and not feel it. Without it, you are knocked down and bruised. You’re going to tap out quicker.
How do we apply this to everyday life?
We need to be relentless in our search for meaning. Without meaning we’re left in an “existential vacuum”, that emptiness we feel without purpose and meaning. That feeling on a Sunday night as we stare into the abyss of another week going through the motions.
Then when things don’t go to plan, we suffer more. Problems loose perspective and our thinking can head to a negative downward spiral.
Our search for meaning doesn’t require us to find a single life’s purpose that will see us to our death bed. There are two avenues we can take:
Change our attitude
Take action
CHANGING OUR ATTITUDE
“When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Viktor Frankl
A job we tolerate can become a place we focus on the great team we work with, or the experiences our salary allows us to do (not buying stuff!). The plan may be to change job or career, but are there positives to focus on and ways to positively reframe the situation on the way? We can make it more goal focused. Six months more experience will allow you to apply for a promotion or explore other avenues. Be deliberate where you place your focus. Is there an opportunity to mentor or help colleagues, even bring your passion to work.
One of my friends is a yoga instructor out of work. She volunteered to run lunchtime yoga and meditation sessions. She brought her meaning to work and shared it with others.
There will be situations in life we don’t like and cannot change, or at least not immediately. Haruki Murakami wisely said, ‘Pain is inevitable: suffering is optional’. There’ll always be these things that cause pain and are out of our control. Those survivors of the concentration camps showed we can bear that pain and reduce our suffering when we keep control of the one thing in our power. That is how we respond – how we think, feel and act. If, through our response we assign meaning, we reduce suffering.
Frankl argues that in all circumstances, individuals have the freedom to access that will to find meaning. Find meaning in our everyday.
TAKE ACTION
There are many ways we can find meaning in our lives. it doesn’t mean, for example, dedicating our lives to curing cancer. Meaning and purpose can change throughout our life. Be curious, trying different things, follow what makes you feel alive.
Volunteering: we are wired to help and it makes us feel good. What skills can you share to benefit others? What causes are you passionate about you can support?
Physical goal: run a marathon, do an ocean swim, do 10 straight pull ups, climb a mountain
Hobbies: try a new one or revive an old one. Did you love painting as a kid? Then go join an evening art class. Have you thought of trying a new sport?
Holiday: is there somewhere you’ve always to go? Set a date and start saving – suddenly your 9-5 has a new meaning
Study: this isn’t necessarily about doing an MBA (but you can of course!). It might be learning a language on an app like Babbel (I’m using it to learn French). Or perhaps you do want to change your career and in the background you can start taking courses. Or there’s something that just really interests you, with no immediate application. Do it!
When we introduce change, have new experiences and achieve goals, our life becomes more fulfilling. As you do this, your mind opens up to more possibilities. Life becomes more enjoyable and its challenges more bearable. You never know where the smallest of changes will take you.
Priscilla Welch’s story is an extraordinary example of where a life change can take you. Born in England, at 35 she left behind her pack-a-day habit and started running. She’d never been a runner. A year later she ran the 1981 London marathon in an impressive 2:59:00. She ended up on the British Olympic team four years later and finished 6th in the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics.
Craig Newmark was laid off from his programming job at Charles Schwab. He made the most of things by using his redundancy package to start a message board that pulled together events fellow programmers might be interested in. The message board grew and evolved into Craigslist. Craig reputed to have a net worth over US$1 billion.
The next move
For me the Nile expedition gave me enormous meaning from the day I committed to it, through the preparation and the expedition itself.
It was a reminder to never settle and to live with purpose.
My longer term goal was to break away from the corporate grind. I knew the Nile was short term and not my ultimate destination, but it was the purpose and meaning I had searched for. In the background I hoped it would help me find a new direction to take. I knew that it would open my mind to new possibilities, to explore my capabilities and find out what I enjoy doing and what I’m good at.
Now I am building this business while continuing to plan more adventures.
It was only by doing the Nile and then the Murray, all the books I was read along the way, the research done and the people I met that my mind was opened to many possibilities. It was by following a dream and the things that make me come alive that I was able to see things differently. It showed me the value real meaning brings my life and how it can buffer me from suffering.
Meaning is unique for each of us and is not comparable. There is no one best move in chess. It depends on the moves in the game, the pieces on the board, your experience and the person you are playing. The great thing is, the meaning for your life has no restrictions. It is the lens you put on your life, the actions you take and the attitude you have.
As Dr Frankl said,
“Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.”
And this as valid today as it was when he wrote it.
We can learn to find meaning and purpose when life doesn’t go to plan. Silver linings are there if we look hard enough. We can find purpose in pain. We can accept that the cards we are dealt are not necessarily fair. And beyond that we have the ability to change our life to one filled with purpose and give meaning to every moment.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. What are you going to do with it?