How to Get Off the Hamster Wheel
Feeling stuck on the hamster wheel? Here’s your exit strategy
A simple approach to create a life with more meaning and purpose
Image by Dwori on Shutterstock
Do you feel like this isn’t it? But you don’t know what is? That you have yet to work out what you want to be when you grow up?
You sit there glumly looking at your screen believing there must be more. That you must be destined for more than this. You keep waiting for the lightning bolt of inspiration to strike, but instead Teams pings and reminds you of your next meeting.
You sit there, hanging out for the weekend, and spend the weekend dreading the Sunday blues. It can be demoralising and have you feeling hopeless, stuck in the rut.
The reality is, that the lightning bolt of inspiration isn’t going to strike. At least not while you keep doing the same old.
And there is a hint to the answer.
You have to do something.
DO something. Anything. Just do something different.
That is the answer.
You might sigh in response to this, thinking, ‘that doesn’t help.’ Bear with me.
The quote attributed to Einstein goes,
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
A study showed that only 6% of us do what we said we wanted to do as a kid. Most of us struggle to find what it is. At best we settle for something that’s ok and get stuck in the hamster wheel. But we are not fulfilled, we don’t have enough meaning or purpose in our lives.
The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are. John Pierpont “J.P.” Morgan
I’ve been there, staring sullenly at my screen. My corporate life made me feel like the square peg being rammed into the round. My first attempt at escape saw me follow my passion for sport and training and I became a personal trainer. I learnt a lot, but it wasn’t me.
I returned to banking.
A year later I was back to feeling like there had to be more, that I needed change. Then watching a couple of documentaries, I saw it — two people who’d gone on expeditions, but they weren’t your classic explorers. You know, the ones that seem like they were born with an ice axe in hand.
Suddenly I could see what I wanted to be. An adventurer. It was like the lightning bolt of inspiration had struck. I knew this wouldn’t be a career and didn’t know where it would take me, but that was ok.
I came up with the idea of paddling the Nile — the idea excited and scared me. It turned into a life-changing expedition that made me come alive like nothing else. I went on to do more adventures, wrote a book and after another brief return to banking set up my business as a speaker and writer.
Let’s expand on the ‘do anything’ approach.
Open new doors
By doing something new we are opening new doors.
That could be doing a course, trying a hobby or sport, listening to a podcast that you wouldn’t normally listen to, or reading a book of a different genre. Going somewhere new. Do these for the sake of it. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, book it, do it. Tap into your curiosity.
We don’t know what’s behind that door and you never know where it will take you. You find out what you like and don’t. What you’re good at, what you’re not. You meet new people, you get new perspectives. One conversation with someone new could have a huge ripple effect and open your eyes to new possibilities.
In 2007 I became a volunteer surf lifesaver at North Bondi Surf Life Saving Club. I did it to give back a little and to meet new people. I got that, and so much more.
I gained new skills, not just those I learnt doing the qualification to become a lifesaver, but I began teaching the course. I took on leadership roles, got my first board role, and did event organising. I discovered new sports that included paddling. That then got me into ocean paddling which I have been fortunate to do around the world. Then the Nile expedition, which wouldn’t have crossed my mind if I wasn’t already a paddler.
Opening that door into surf lifesaving took me into a new world of possibilities and opportunities.
It won’t always work out like that. Sometimes it’ll just be a door to a broom cupboard. That’s ok. Try another door.
Journal
When you’re doing these new things, start unpacking what it is you enjoy and don’t enjoy. Delve into your strengths and where your skills and passions lie. Dig into who you are — what are your values, how do you want to feel, what makes you feel like that? Journal each day, even if it’s a few bullet points of the highlights and lowlights.
You can supplement this with books like The Desire Map by Danielle La Porte. Her book is about getting clarity on how you want to feel and using that as a compass. I talk about that more here.
Do a strengths finder. There are free ones online (e.g. VIA). If you haven’t established your values, do that. There are online tests or simply Google for a list of core values and see which resonate. Get it down to three or four.
These won’t necessarily give you that lightning bolt but will help guide you. Get curious about who you are, the things you enjoy and what you’re capable of.
Chance favours the curious mind. Louis Pasteur
Don’t make assumptions
Don’t assume you won’t be any good at something. And drop the limiting beliefs.
Say you’ve always wanted to have a crack at watercolour painting. But the words of your primary school teacher telling you that you weren’t creative still ring in your ears. Ignore the voice. Do not assume your finger-painting skills as a five year are any indication of the creative skills you have within.
And you don’t have to be good. You just want to see if you enjoy it and see who we meet on the way.
We often put limiting labels on ourselves of what we’re not. I’m not sporty. I’m not a runner. I’m not creative. I’m no good at presenting. You might find yourself responding with, “That’s just not me.” Are you sure? Have you really tried? Perhaps you’re missing the word ‘yet’. I’m not a runner, yet.
Don’t assume that you won’t be any good. Just have a crack.
Don’t let fears get in the way
Change and the unknown can be scary. What if I suck? To which I reply, ‘So what?’ Ask yourself, what really is worst case? Unpack what’s holding you back. When you drill into it, you might find it’s not that big a deal. You don’t have to take giant leaps, try a small step. And then another.
The more steps we take, the more comfortable we get with dealing with uncertainty. You create momentum and build a tolerance for launching yourself into unknown territories. This makes you more likely to try other things that previously would have seemed too daunting. Your world gradually becomes a bigger place.
And as it does, more opportunities are likely to present themselves and you see more possibilities.
All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be inspired
There are so many amazing examples of people who opened new doors and changed their lives:
Priscilla Welch, encouraged by her husband, started running aged 35 after giving up smoking. She’d never been into athletics or running. A year later she ran a 2-hour 59-minute marathon and five years later came sixth at the Atlanta Olympics.
Julia Child was a top-secret researcher during WWII. After moving to Paris in 1948 she joined the Cordon Bleu cooking school, despite never having been into cooking. She graduated and began teaching cooking to fellow Americans in Paris, then published a critically acclaimed cookbook before becoming an Emmy award-winning TV star.
Sanders, aka KFC’s Colonel Sanders, had tried everything from labouring to selling life insurance, to running a ferry business. It was only when he began running a Shell service station that he made his foray into selling fried chicken. It started as a side hustle out of the service station before setting up a restaurant and then franchising.
Let your curiosity guide you to try new things because you never know where it might take you.
Dig into who you are and who knows, you might begin to hear a voice inside that’s been whispering to you all along.
Happy exploring!
Sarah