The Power of Discomfort

Building confidence through challenge and uncertainty

By the time I reached the end of my Nile trip there was a shift in me. For six months there had been a relentless stream of challenges, and problems to deal with.

There were the big issues, like the hippo attack and being arrested and detained in Burundi. Then the smaller ones. Like when some of the team were uncomfortable doing a section of the river. Exit point found and transport arranged. Visa for Sudan didn’t come through. Found someone who could arrange it. The kayak I’d been sponsored with was hopeless. Found a better option. Police wanted to arrest us for getting too close to a dam. Talked our way out of it. Struggling to find a spot to camp amongst dense foliage. Patience, trust and creativity led to a stunning spot.

 After a couple of months I realised that pretty much anything is figure-outable. The shift in me was the growth in my self-confidence. I trusted myself and the team I’d put around me to be able to sort anything out.

 When we are dealing with all manner of challenges and get through them our trust in our ability to handle whatever is thrown at us goes up.

 That’s where the confidence comes from - the evidence we’ve gathered that we will be able to deal with it. We find ourselves less worried about what’s coming, and stress levels don’t soar so high if there are issues.

What is self-confidence?

The definition of self-confidence hasn’t been fully settled. One regularly cited source refers to self-confidence as simply believing in oneself (Bénabou & Tirole, 2002).

Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day to day challenges and demands (Psychology Dictionary Online).

That trust and belief come from doing. Not from thinking about doing something, or planning it. From doing the thing – the hard thing, the new thing, the thing we didn’t think we could. The thing we sucked at in the beginning but got better at.

We don’t need to be going on big expeditions to build our confidence, but we do need to build the evidence bank.

Get more confidence by doing things that excite and frighten you.

Jessica Williams

Building the Evidence Bank

In a world that often prioritises security and predictability, it's easy to gravitate toward what we know, avoiding risks and challenges that might push us into discomfort and take us into unchartered territories.  

Stepping out of our comfort zones does more than just challenge us in the moment—it builds an ‘evidence bank’. Each time we face a new challenge, take on something unfamiliar and achieve something perhaps we didn’t think possible, we deposit evidence into this bank.

We have this collection of proof that we are capable of handling uncertainty and overcoming obstacles. That we can adapt to the situations we face.

David Goggins calls this the ‘cookie jar’. He describes this as all the things we’ve dealt with, achieved and overcome. It’s something to dip into when we’re doubting ourselves and use the ‘cookies’, as a reminder that we can do it and use them to fuel us to keep going.

Get Uncomfortable

We have to step out of our comfort zone. The comfort zone is a psychological state in which we feel safe and in control. The phrase ‘comfort zone’ was coined by management thinker Judith Bardwick in her 1991 work Danger in the Comfort Zone:

“The comfort zone is a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.”

Source: PositivePsychology.com Toolkit – ‘Leaving The Comfort Zone’

While it's a space where stress is minimal, it can be a place of stagnation. Not only that, too much time in this space can send us backwards, our confidence ebbs and we contract.

Mental toughness and resilience fade if they aren’t used consistently...you are either getting better, or you’re getting worse. You’re not staying the same.

David Goggins

Stepping out of this space could be trying new things, or challenging ourselves to take on bigger goals. That could be putting your hand up for a project or role at work, one bigger than you’ve done before. It can be a bigger sporting goal. It’s going on a holiday solo when you’d normally go with others. It's an adventure holiday when you’d normally sit on the beach and sip cocktails. It’s things that stretch you (but not break you).

When we do these things, our comfort zone expands and we will more readily take on bigger challenges or goals, armed with the belief that even though we haven’t done it before, and we don’t know how things will turn out, we will be able to adapt and overcome. And even if things don’t go to plan, we will learn from the experience.

The Myth of Readiness

One common misconception is that we need to be fully prepared before taking on a new challenge. Life doesn't wait for us to feel completely ready—it presents us with challenges regardless of our perceived preparedness – and we rise to those challenges.

It can be tempting, when it is the challenges of our choosing, to not take them until the planets have lined up and it feels like a smaller easier step than a big leap.

My first real leadership role was one I definitely didn’t feel ready for. Initially, I turned it down, but I let myself get nudged into the deep end where I flayed around awkwardly. It wasn’t pretty. Yes, it is something I could have built up to until I felt ready, and it would have been a tad more graceful, but I would have missed out on the gift that this was. By being forced to learn as I went and to suck at the start, it gave me the confidence to jump before I’m ready, to learn as I went. This has translated to my personal endeavours as well as professional. I am so grateful to that boss.

The more we take things on before we are ready, we realise we don’t need to be 100% ‘ready’. By regularly pushing ourselves beyond what we feel ready we develop confidence to grow as we go.

 This mindset shift is critical in a rapidly changing world where uncertainty is the only constant. When our confidence to deal with uncertainty increases, our stress is diminished. Self-confidence is like water to the fire of stress and anxiety.

Embrace Those Gulp Moments

The benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone extend far beyond the immediate challenge. When we continually stretch ourselves, we expand our horizons, learn new skills, and develop mental toughness and an adaptable mindset.

 This ripple effect touches every aspect of our lives—from our careers to our relationships—empowering us to pursue bigger goals and live more boldly.

 The next time you face a challenge that makes you uncomfortable, remember the power of discomfort.

 Each gulp of uncertainty is an opportunity to deposit another piece of evidence into your bank. Embrace these moments, knowing that you don't need to be ready for everything—just confident that you can deal with whatever comes your way.

 By consistently stepping out of your comfort zone, you'll build the confidence, skills, and mindset necessary to thrive in an unpredictable world.

 So take the leap, embrace the challenge, and watch yourself grow.

 Sarah x